13 Girls in Compromising Positions

There will be more to come... I promise. But since I have been back from Chicago/Michigan for almost a week now, I felt compelled to toss out a little teaser in hopes that you'll be coming back for more later when I post my thoughts on this adventure.

I aptly titled my entry: "13 girls in compromising positions" because that's pretty much what went down the weekend of March 9th. The "compromising" part, however, was at our own free will and the humor that was shared among the 13 of us (plus a special guest named Jorge) was an exclusive club in itself and unless you were lucky enough to be privy to the wonderful awesomeness that transpired over that weekend, you might just not get the beautimous ridiculousness of everything. And I wouldn't expect everyone to understand how in the hell 13 women, each oozing buckets of estrogen and who shared 1 1/2 bathrooms, could possibly get along. No unwarranted hair pulling, no cat fights [not amongst ourselves anyway], and no jealousy, unless you posessed the sweetest of dance skills.

Perhaps more fascinating than 13 girls being in compromising positions, is the fact that that we had all just met for the first time "in real life" that weekend.

Or maybe that's not more fascinating. Speaking of fascinating things... here are my thoughts for today:

~There is SO such a thing as a one woman dance off
~The Men in Michigan really know how to spoil a girl
~Wearing a sweatshirt in a bar will only cause problems
~One must boil water prior to cramming brittle spaghetti noodles in the pot if one expects the end result to be anything that is close to being edible.
~Drinking + Cooking = so not cool

~Drinking + Cooking in Rachel's Kitchen = a particularly precarious, yet comical, situation
~If you are gross, please do not follow a van of 13 girls and expect that we will actually WANT you to come with us on our outting
~If you are gross and choose to do this anyway, DO expect that you will be serenaded with "don't want no short dick man" as you pop your head through the van doors
~It takes a special someone to take a nap while a full on, bonafide 13-girl-on-girl boudoir photo session is going down
~Spelling out "Nobel Prize" while sitting on the toilet will help one to poop
~I will be returing in my next life as a bacon pig

No Wonder Floridians Have Such Dirty Feet

For your viewing pleasure, please enjoy this gallery of pictures from my recent City of Angels trip. For four days, my friend and I enjoyed the glitz and glam that is Los Angeles. Our gracious hostess was my friend, Nikki, who opened up her home and let me and Tanya sleep in her bed while she took the couch. She let us drink her coffee and eat her MM's and Almond Rocha chocolates. In exchange, we bought her a bouquet of pink tulips and made sure her bedroom was in a constant state of disarray.

Here's what I learned:

When packing a suitcase for a trip, there is really no need to bring 3874372893874 pairs of shoes - unless you are staying for 3874372893874 days.

It's best to plan your outfits in advance. Which I did. However, I still tossed in several extra shirts and a couple of extra dresses and belts just in case I changed my mind. Which, of course I did. Because I could. And it's not just that I brought extra clothes ... I had to bring extra shoes to match those extra clothes... and I had to bring extra jewelry and accessories to match the shoes that matched the extra clothes. And my make up colors changed.

Know what I ended up wearing after multiple wardrobe changes in the bedroom? A black dress. Yup. A plain, boring black dress. No frills. No belt. The new shoes that I had just bought that day [see previous entry] while doing some LA shopping so all the other pairs of shoes that ALREADY existed in my suitcase just sat there... all lonely like.

As many of you readers know, the purpose of this trip was to attend the MADtv taping and wrap party. My friend, our hostess who tolerated the both of us, is Nicole Randall Johnson [her mother and I are the only ones who call her Nikki... to everyone else, she is Nicole.. make note of that] and I knew her waaaay back when... before she was a big TV star... back 14 years ago when we met while handing out Alpo Dog Food samples at the Price Club. I think we also handed out fruit cocktail cups. Good times.

Anyhoo, my Florida friend, who has become fast friends with Nikki, and I really enjoyed meeting the cast and crew of the show. Everyone was so very lovely and friendly and knowing how they are "in real life" just makes the characters they play on the show more hilarious because they are often polar opposites of how they really are. Makes me appreciate the show THAT much more.

I am not one to get star struck, really. If I see a celebrity, I just stalk them from a distance. However, my favorite moment of this trip had to be when I met Michael McDonald, who many know as the rosy-cheeked, overgrown child with gland problems, Stuart, on MADtv. He has had me laughing out loud for many years now and I was very excited to hug him and squeeze him and gaze into his big, blue eyes just as a child, with her cheeks pressed to the glass as she longingly and lovingly looks into the window
of a candy store, would do.

::evil giggle inserted here but I'm not saying why::

Now that we have been home for over a week [OVER A WEEK? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW POSTING A BLOG ENTRY?!] I have made many observations about my hometown. Only one of which I would like to bring up right now. I went out the other night for happy hour and beyond with my traveling companion friend and, just as we typically do, we got dressed up. As we looked around us, we noticed that most everyone had on flip flops and capri pants. Except for the grody woman who had on a black, sparkly cocktail dress.... with flip flops... do I even need to elaborate on THAT woman's outfit, really?

Yeah. No.

Anyway.... I realize that Florida is renowned for its laid back lifestyle. I'm still in my pajamas and have not brushed my teeth and it's past 10:00 in the morning right now. Yes. I own probably 15 various different types of flip flops and I'm all about wearing them. To the grocery store.... to the beach.... to Home Depot.... but when I go out to someplace OTHER than perhaps the bars down at the beach or the above mentioned locales, I like to get dressed for night time [not red light district night time attire... I'm not in my 20's anymore]. You know-- Heels. Pants that come down past my ankles. Make up. Hair brushed. Jewelry. Coordinating cluth. We were at a nice, classy place... and all we saw around us was sloppiness.

Welcome to Florida.
Where people
1) come to die,
2) get drunk in the sun,
3) don't worry about investing in a full length mirror.

I know, I know. I shouldn't complain. We also have lovely landscape.... theme parks.... and we have no idea what it feels like to be in negative degree weather.

However.... my girlfriend and I have decided that we will be going to someplace fancy and glamorous at least once a year so that we can get our fix of "the other side".

On that note.... I leave for Chicago tomorrow.

I am not kidding.