It's a Conspiracy, I tell ya.

What's in my CD player? Mark Knopfler's, Shangri-La

Who is Mark Knopfler you ask? He was the frontman for Dire Straits. The one with the sweatband across his forehead.

okay, okay.... a word to the wise, which apparantly, I am not...

after using Listerine, do not expect your glass of lovely Savignon Blanc to taste good. Even Savignon Blanc from the Biltmore Estate in Asheville. Not EVEN when it is drop shipped to your front door directly from the estate. Not even then will that sweet, sweet, delicious wine taste good after rinsing your mouth out with Listerine.

[insert a big, fat "d'uh" here]

The first thing, well technically it's the second thing [refer to the above LIsterine+wine=gag] I want to bring to everyone's attention is this shirt that my husband bought me. He's of University of Arizona alumni and is therefore, a huge Wildcat fan. And trust me when I say that being an Arizona fan waaaaaay out here on the east coast is a lonely, lonely thing to be. I think there is like MAYBE one other Arizona fan out here... and I think Mike pays him. Oh.. Mike... that's my husband. Cool, generic name, eh? Ha! You can't stalk me [in real life] based on that information alone can ya? HA!

*looks around nervously*

Okay, anyhoo... this shirt he bought me. Could it be any tighter? I'm surprised it's not a midriff crop top with holes cut out at the nipples.

I'm just glad that he doesn't pick out all of my clothes. I would walk around the world looking like a past her prime sorority girl if he had his way. I did wear the shirt today... around the house....and I felt kinda dirty when the dogs were staring at my shirt boobs with their grody pervert eyes, licking their jowls... especially the big one. He has human eyes, he does.

When my husband got home, his boobdar kicked into auto pilot and he bypassed all the animals, who were lined up waiting ever so patiently for his arrival home, and with his arms outstretched in front of him, his gropy-feely little hands and fingers leading the way, came right up to me and grabbed my boobs.

Wait until he returns home now. I know I'm not sending out the same "come hither and grab THESE" vibe. I have on multi colored pj pants that are like SO two years ago and they are a smidge too short because I've washed them 283920809 times and things that start off long on me NEVER stay that way forever AND a long sleeved, thermal hoodie top that is mint green and very loose. And I have no makeup on. And now my breath smells like white wine withjust a hint of peach, vanilla, and Listerine. So sexy. I feel all like "electric love, plug me in".

It only took two blog entries to post a picture of my boobs. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It might even happen again. You know... to keep the interest of any of my male blog readers. And maybe some females. I can dig it. For now, it's out of the way and we don't all have to sit here and wonder..."when is she gonna do it? When will the boobs come?" Because that is totally what some of my readers are thinkin'. You know who you are.

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I'm very upset at Netflix right now. I've been keeping track of this shit. We've been members now for quite some time. And every 4-5 months.... I don't get my new movies like I normally do, which is 1-2 days after they notify me that they have been sent out. I mailed two movies back on this past Saturday... they got them... and on Tuesday, the next two in my queue were mailed out. I don't have them. I should have had them by Wednesday. Thursday at worst case scenario. This is the pattern EVERYTIME from all the months past. I really, really think this is what they do to all their members every few months.. so that it seems less conspicuous that they are fucking with you. Subtle, they think they are....mMMMmmmm.

If I had either of those two movies by Wednesday, as I should have... I would have already watched at least one of them [Little Miss Sunshine, probably] and already returned it and could have quite possibly had yet another movie from my queue mailed to me... all by tomorrow or maybe Monday at the latest. So I don't think I'm getting my $19.07 worth for this month. I'm watchin' you, Netflix. I won't hesitate to go to BlockBuster now that they do that thing where I can drive my ass to the store with my 'mailed movies' and exchange them RIGHT THEN AND THERE. I'll do it. I swear. I don't wanna, 'cause I'm hella-lazy, but I will.

*evil squint at Netflix as I mark my calendar with this incident

in order to keep tabs on the situation*

I found this saying today and found it to be cute:

A glow worm is never glum… Because, how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?