The Man Dog

what's playing on my Napster: Travis, Sing



Once upon a time, there was a dog at the humane society. They called him "the howler". He was five-years old, black with a white mark down his forehead, and had eyes that seemed as though they had seen much and if he could talk, this dog would have a story to tell.

One lazy Saturday afternoon, a family walked in. They were hoping they could find a nice medium sized dog to bring home with them. The husband had FINALLY talked his wife into agreeing to a family dog. They already had two cats with attitudes and that along with the two children of the household, plus the wife's collection of flying pig figurines and not to mention the husband's Star Wars Pez Dispenser collection, oh and the ridiculous amount of wine, DVD's, and all the CD's that they had collected in the 90's, there just didn't seem to be much room left for anything else, living or non-living.


They perused the aisles and observed all the dogs. The husband walked right past this sweet looking, black dog with a white mark down his forehead with eyes that seemed as though they had seen much for surely he was too large. His wife would never agree so he didn't even bother to stop.


But the wife did. On her way to join the rest of her family at the end of the row, she saw this dog with the human eyes. She stopped. They stared at each other. He approached the caged wire and laid down so she could see his sadness... up close.... there in front of her. She said "hello dog" and stuck a couple of fingers through the cage and patted his big, black head with the white strip running down his forehead. She moved on. But she kept going back. No matter what other dogs she was scoping out, there was something calling her back to that dog. She stayed there, at his cage, for quite some time... talking to him... wondering about why he was there. Telling him why her family was there. That she had been brainwashed into thinking that bringing a dog into the house was what she wanted. The things that the promise of shoes does a woman...

His sign read:

Name: Buddy

Age: Approx. 5 years old

Dislikes: Squirrels, Rabbits
Okay with: Cats, Kids

Reason he was brought in : Too big.

Too big?? TOO BIG?? Did his previous owner not realize his size? Or even as a puppy, did his owner not stop to think, hmmm..... Lab/Pitt mix = big dawg when grown. At least he was brought in at all and not left stranded on the roadside somewhere or released to roam freely and eventually meeting the ill fate of getting hit by a car or shot by some horrible, toothless, backasswoods redneck with his confederate flag hanky hanging from the back pocket of his overalls who mistook him for a black bear... or dinner.


The black dog with the white stripe watched as this family took a couple of other dogs out into the play area to see how they reacted with each of them. After three dogs that just wouldn't do, the wife suggested maybe.... just maybe.... how about taking out the big, black dog "over there", she said as she pointed to him. He knew she spoke of him. He sat up in his cage... to look his best... and show off how handsome and lovely he was, in spite of his "not-desired" size. The husband looked at the wife as though she was out of her mind... yet... admitted he was a bit excited about the possibility of the fact that this big "man dog", as he put it, could possibly be the chosen one. The wife could not, for the life of her, understand why on earth she was even suggesting the idea of playing with this dog for he was far too large at 80 pounds. No way. What the hell was she thinking? What had this big, sweet looking, black dog with the white stripe and sincere eyes done to her?

~~~~~~~~~

The adoption was finalized and they were allowed to bring the dog home in 48 hours. The family right away went out and bought food, a big, fluffy bed for his big body, a couple of chew toys. They anxiously awaited his arrival to his new home.


The family talked about names. Nothing was sticking. And he surely was not "Buddy", as the sign on his cage had deemed him. Finally, one of the children shouted out "Rico." Hmmmm. Rico. It rolled off the tongue. It was simple. Yet.... it was uncommon. Rico. Yes, they liked "Rico". Rico.... Suave to be exact.

So please don't judge a book by its cover

There's more to being a latin lover

You got to know how to deal with a woman that won't let go

The price you pay for being a gigolo

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rico Suave has been a part of the family now for a little over a year and has blended right in. Though he is large... and howls when the phone rings... and he's gained a few pounds.... and his little, short black hairs are all over the tile floor... and he drives the wife crazy... and he rapes all the females who come into the home... and he burps.... and he has more gray hairs now that he is six years old.... he is indeed a member of this family now and has a good home.


For those first eleven months, things were just perfect. After the cats got over the fact that this big "thing" wasn't leaving and after Rico learned that the big cat wasn't dinner, they live in peace, happily ignoring one another. Pretending as though the other doesn't exist in their world.

But wait.... what is this? Well it's Rico Suave laying on his bed. HIS bed. His big, fluffy bed with dents and bumps that are from his own ass. His own bed that he has had now for over a year... in the same spot... the same corner of the room.... with the family that was all his. Well, except for those stupid cats, but they don't really interefere because they're so elusive that it's like they don't exist anyway. This is the family that picked HIM and rescued him from that noisy, unprivate place after being dumped there by an owner who realized that he was just too big. And those eyes... those eyes that revealed so much heart.... those eyes that want to tell a story of those five years gone by. Oh, how sweet life is.... in his new, loving, home. So why does Rico Suave look so glum in this picture? Disappointed, almost? Perturbed, perhaps?



Scroll a little....

Wait for it.....

Can you see it? Can you? Click on the picture if you can't. Do you see the small, tiny ass in the left corner of the picture? Rico sees it. He feels it. He can't escape it. Hence his dismay. Little did he know what the wife's 34th birthday would bring.... just a mere eleven months after he found comfort in his new world. It's a November that he'll never forget. Even if he wanted to.