Thursday, January 11, 2007

Oh great, she's starting her own blog site.

My new thing: Life cereal with clusters of chocolate covered oats.
I finally have found use for this huge salad bowl!



What am I listening at this very moment: Sweet the Sting, Tori Amos

Why I started this blog: Evidently, I have fans.


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boring things about me:
My blog name is Asherbelle. My birth name is Thor. But people in real life call me Asha. I am married. Again. I have two awesome kids. I am a big-time carnivore. I’m pretty tall. Not like 5’7 above average tall, but a flatfooted 5’11 + ¼” yes ¾” shy of 6’ tall. I’m a scorpio. I’m pretty much evil.


there are so many random neat things about me:

I once had poop on my finger. And I had no choice but to leave it there for 12 minutes, unless I wanted to wipe it on my favorite jeans.

Talking about the poop finger bothers me.

My favorite band in the whole wide world is Pink Floyd.

I color my font all the time.

The title of my blog is stolen from a song, before anyone thinks that I am trying to take credit for coming up with it on my own.

I have a big dog. I have a little dog. I have Two cats. I will introduce each of them in time as they are a constant source of entertainment….and horribleness.

I’m all about eating breakfast for dinner.

I have mad typing skills. I type over 75wpm.

Yeah. It’s on my resume.



THIS NEXT PART IS THUPER IMPORTANT SO YOU DON'T ONE DAY GET PERPLEXED AND WONDER WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE:
In everyday talking, even in real life, I often incorporate my own deliberate lisp into certain words and replace the “s” with the sound of "th". I have done this ever since I saw the movie “Multiplicity” back in 1996.
For example:

thuper = super
thpecial=special
thee monther=sea monster [I use this one a lot]
thweet=sweet
thcared=scared
dithguthing=disgusting
jeebus = jesus, which doesn’t have anything to do with a lisp, unless I use it with… crith. And I will.

Rarely would I replace the ‘s’ in, let’s say, "piss off [you stupid slut]" because If I am saying those things, I probably mean it and am not tryin' to be funny.

oh, I drop the f-bomb. . . . . A lot.

Like... it's fucking ridiculous.

For real.

I do not like to be licked. By a human or non-human.


I have an endless amount of opinions swirling about my head and I will most definitely argue with someone if given a chance.

I have a difficult time spelling the words, definitely, separately, psychic *note, I spelled this word correctly just now. End note* and refrigerator. I used to have a hard time spelling exercise but I seemed to have figured that one out after my excessive use of the spell check. Not so much on the others, though.

I often do not make use of the shift button on my keyboard to capitalize my words so don't bother pointing a finger at my slipshod ways. I already know.

And I don't care how shotty and lazy it looks. This is a blog, for crying out loud.

I at times refer to a thesaurus to find words like “slipshod”.

I don’t wear thong underwear.

Unless, that is, I am wearing white pants. But this is rare because white pants make me look... wide.


I refuse to poop in public bathrooms.


Hell, I practically refuse to poop in my own bathroom.

I am fanatical about the use of proper grammar when I write. And when you write, too, for that matter. A typo is one thing, but please, please, PLEASE learn that: a lot is, in fact, two words; to and too mean completely different things; the word their is possessive whereas there is like:



::in best Homer Simpson voice::
When the saints go over there.
Oh over there! Oh over there!


And for the love of Pedro…. Puh’lease do not use a double negative when you speak unless you are trying to be ridiculous. Like I’ll say sometimes: “Well, I don’t NOT eat things that have been on the floor for longer than what the 5 second rule forgives."


Things I’m terrified of: spiders, drowning, being hit by a freight train, death [when and where], clowns, returning in my next life as a plunger.

I often wonder: what it would be like to get a paper cut in your eye; why I am afraid of being hit by a train; about the infinite mysteries and secrets of the cosmos; how many times Kirstie Alley, Janet Jackson, and Oprah Winfrey are each going to loose 76 pounds. I’m not hatin’ on the ladies… I’m just sayin’.


Alrighty then. I think that 'bout sums it up. As my official first blog entry, I just wanted to toss out some tid-bits about me. If you're still with me, I hope you plan on staying for the long haul.

Or I will seek you out. I know people.

I'm not quite sure what I plan on doing with this whole blog thing. But I can tell you that I'm certain some of my entires will be silly, some sad, some profound. I'm a rainbow of colors. Or a rainbow of shit. However you might look at it.


What am I listening to at this particular moment: Don't Panic, Coldplay.
the end. bitches.


a special shout out to my sista' Chloe... I've always wanted an excuse to use Homer's rendition of "When the Saints go Marching in"


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha! Awesome!

Megs said...

Wooooo!! I am officially subscribed. I look forward to meeting the furry aminal creatures. :-) Yay for your new blog!

Anonymous said...

this really isn't anonymous....it's rhinny....I think you are fabulous, and I think we're kindred spirits....while reading the random things about you, I noticed a lot of things that I share...if I can have an online inspiration you are it...In closing, I think you're thuper :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know you, but what you write is cool. I once had poop on my finger, too. Keep writing it up! I will be back.

Anonymous said...

oh also, you've inspired me to start my own blogspot. Yes, I'm totally a copycat. Visit, and enjoy :)

http://rhiannonrocksalittle.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I actually have a friend who got a papercut in her eye from a newspaper. If you want details, let me know and I'll ask. :)

Anonymous said...

hello love muffin, just wanted to tell you how fucking hilarious you are. fo really real yo. i'm fo cereal

I miss your vivid animation, and i have a pout on right now (isnt it weird that actually know how i look when i pout) as i'm thinking of how far away you are from me.

Your future wife;)

Roses

i needed something to fill this empty space so here you go:

i wish i could live in a kick ass tree house like the swiss family robinson ~ when i was a little girl, i used to whip the shit out of my rag doll, lucy, with a belt ~ lucy was very bad ~ i love rainy days ~ i wear flip flops all the time ~ i still have to hold my nose with my fingers when i go under the water ~ i cannot do a cartwheel ~ i think angelina jolie is fuckin' smokin' hot ~ i get bored easily ~ i don't mind doing laundry~ i am a night owl ~ i bite my nails sometimes